Sexual Freedom

As we celebrated our countries freedom on July 4, here in America, I gave a lot of thought of what freedom means to me.  I wrote about in general terms here, but I believe who we are as sexual beings is a big chunk of who we are at all.  These cards were drawn with the intent to define what sexual freedom means to me.

The first card, the High Priestess, shows how sacred sex is in my world.  I am sexually free when I treat my bedroom and my body as a temple, when sex is worship as well as pleasure.  I believe that the Holy Trinity includes male and female entities, and the physical act of making love is mimicry of the way those energies combine on the astral plane.  Love making is, to me, one embodiment of the Lord's Prayer, "Thy will be done, on Earth, as it is in Heaven."  Ecstatic union is one of the ways in which we bring the Heaven we can't quite reach yet to Earth, where we are momentarily bound, and love is always the right answer.

The second card, The Tower, furthers this belief for me, as well as represents climax.  I am sexually free when I accept that sometimes the Heavens open up and shower love upon us, and sometimes lightning strikes.  I am sexually free when I let love tear down my walls and allow pleasure and release to roll through my body like a thunderstorm.  Not least in the equation, I am sexually free when I am sated, and to be so requires an openness I am not inclined to give except in the safe warm presence of my Lover and the Divine, which is one and the same on good days.

I chuckle a bit at the third card, the Ten of Swords, the Little Death in French colloquial.  I am free in those sweet moments, when it is over yet lingering, before the ache of renewed desire has set in.  Sexual love is a rolling tide, sometimes it crashes over you, and sometimes it softly retreats.  The trick is in being able to surf those waves, enjoying the drama and the softness with equal aplomb.  I am sexually free when I surrender to the cycles of that kind of love, neither demanding more nor giving less.

The Shadow Card, the Nine of Pentacles, is placed just so to remind me that each persons' relationship to their own sexual self is the most important part of the equation.  Too many times, we make the mistake of turning over our sexual pleasure, and power, to another person, when those things are our domain, to tend to, to tease out of ourselves.  I can't expect to be a good lover, nor to have one, if I do not know how to love myself, on every level- physical, emotional, mental.  Too many times we pass off our right, and responsibility, to another person, because that is easier than coming into our true selves, but it inevitably leads to stifled satisfaction.  You are utterly desirable, so own that for yourself.  And I will, too.

Beltane- Freyja & Her Four Dwarves Spread

Goddesses and Sirens Oracle- Freya

There is no denying the lusty nature of Beltane, the holy day of fertility and new beginnings, the celebration as we cast off the darkness of cold of winter and let our skin be warmed by the summer sun, or the Beltane fires, at least.

Freyja is the Norse goddess of love and war, because we all know sometimes the two can feel like one.  Associated with the sun that warms the seed and coaxes it from the earth, and as the bringer of fertility, love, wealth, and ultimately death, Freyja goes with Beltane quite naturally.  Her reputation as a lusty, fierce woman at ease in her own sexual power makes her the kind of goddess most women want to be and most men would trade anything to spend a night with.

As we stand on this sacred day between winter and summer, exactly half a year from Samhain, when we celebrate death, we remember that yes, all men will die, but first we will live, and Freyja paints us a bold picture for doing so fearlessly.

Beltane is a sacred bridge between the dark winter and the bright summer.  In the dark of winter, we are faced with our shadow selves, that which we have to assimilate in order to be whole, while our bright summer selves display our favorite attributes of self.  For many people, sexuality falls into the shadow side of our personalities.  It's secret, it's done in the dark, and for many people it is fraught with anxiety or shame.  Freyja knows nothing of darkness in her sexuality, and here serves as a guide to reclaiming the light and power in ours.

Freyja came to possess one of the most treasured pieces of jewelry in the world, the Brsingers' necklace, which supposedly made the wearer the most beautiful person in the world, by laying with four dwarven brothers in turn, who are representative of the four directions and elements.  Coming to terms with the seats of her sexual powers resulted in her possession of a great treasure.  While she did the deed, four times over, Loki spied on her and tried to use his ill gotten knowledge to bring her harm later.  In refusing to be ashamed, Freyja foiled Loki's plan and continued to live her life just as she pleased.

In my mind, Freyja makes a perfect Magician, able to use the elements that surround her to create her own perfect version of her life, and Loki represents that which lies within us that makes feel ashamed and unwilling to live in sexual fullness and health.  The following spread shows us the seat of our power in each element, and how we assimilate them all together, as well as our Loki-shadow aspect, if we care to look for it.

Card One, Fire in the South- Show me how I am powerful in my spirit, passions, and sexuality.

Card Two, Water in the West- Show me how I am powerful in my emotions and sexuality.

Card Three, Air in the East- Show me how I am powerful in my thoughts, communications, and sexuality.

Card Four, Earth in the North- Show me how I am powerful with my physical being and sexuality.

Card Five, Freyja as the Magician, in the middle- Show me how I can best use these tools to express myself as a powerful entity, comfortable with my body and the pleasure I both give and receive.

Card Six, optional, Loki as the Skulker, from the bottom of the deck- Show me how I betray myself as it relates to my sexuality.  (I only recommend doing shadow work when you are ready and feeling strong, because it can be quite a lot all at once.)

Cards that fall in their same element will be read as exceptionally strong, as well as Majors, particularly if they are the same element as the position.  If you disagree with the cards, it is likely they are giving you a quality to work on embodying as advice.

Sample reading:

Card One, Fire in the South- Show me how I am powerful in my spirit, passions, and sexuality: Four of Cups.  The Querent is single minded in their approach, and tends to be faithful to one lover, forsaking all others for the singular pleasure they have at home.  Their passions cannot be incited by anyone but the one they save themselves for, or at least they tell themselves that.  With this water card in a fire position, weakening each other, I would encourage the Querent to at least allow the possibility of allowing a little more variety, even of the role playing type, into their bedroom, but first and foremost this spread is about claiming power, so I would focus on the positive aspects.

Card Two, Water in the West- Show me how I am powerful in my emotions and sexuality: The Lovers.  This card reinforces the first, and speaks of the deep emotional power the Querent feels in the act of sex with their chosen.  They have been given opportunities to cheat, or take other lovers, but they consistently choose the one they feel most connected to, and expect the same in return.  The fidelity, and the threat of losing it, is a constant goad to the passions of the Querent, and they may even be a kind of emotional masochist, where the pain, real or imagined, is a sweet catalyst to their pleasure.

Card Three, Air in the East- Show me how I am powerful in my thoughts, communications, and sexuality: Ace of Swords.  The Querent is free thinking and willing to explore many ideas within the confines of that safe space with the lover, though the previous cards indicate an unsureness of how to act on those thoughts.  That matters not at all, because an open dialogue and willing communication is the first piece of a great sexual relationship.

Card Four, Earth in the North- Show me how I am powerful with my physical being and sexuality: Five of Swords.  The Querent gets their physical pleasure, and does not understand why everyone doesn't feel the same.  They do whatever it takes to bring their partner to orgasm, and expects the same reciprocal treatment, and I would venture to say does not go too many days in between.

Card Five, Freyja as the Magician, in the middle- Show me how I can best use these tools to express myself as a powerful entity, comfortable with my body and the pleasure I both give and receive: Two of Swords.  With so many Swords cards, the Querent is a deep thinker, and the mind is the first place they both need to be seduced as well as where they choose to begin their seduction.  Their decisions are considered carefully, and you can expect them to never be thinking with the wrong head, so to speak.  They wield words as their foremost weapon, but the imagery shows that emotions, as represented by the blue water, and earthy sensuality are not far behind in their priorities.  The Querent's power resides in reciprocity, willingness to listen, and the culmination of all the images suggest to me that the Querent may find their truest joy in a submissive role, at least some of the time, utilizing light BDSM techniques to explore that area of their life.

Card Six, optional, Loki as the Skulker, from the bottom of the deck- Show me how I betray myself as it relates to my sexuality: The Moon.  The Querent does not feel they can trust themselves to choose a partner that can be open and non-judgmental so they may continue to squash ideas they see as unclean or shameful.  They would be well advised to work on letting go of that shame and building their self esteem and personal trust in themselves.  In a reading, I would offer to draw further cards to implement those suggestions.

Loki essentially called Freyja a slut like it was a bad thing, and she laughed in his face, because to pervert Eleanor Roosevelt's famous saying a bit, no one can make you feel like a slut without your permission (and if you like feeling like one, by all means give that permission, not even tongue in cheek).  Shame is a great inhibitor, but nothing done in the name of love, or at least mutual pleasure, could ever be wrong, and I hope that this spread may help lovers to realize that.